The Cahill Reunion went terribly wrong
by asphodelfields
Summary: Fiske invites all the Cahills over for a family reunion. Or, at least, it looks like Fiske...oh, well. Nothing can go wrong, right? Incorrect. This is a Cahill family reunion and anything...horny can happen. Amian, Teagan, Nedison, Natan, Hamead, and Joellie, or whatever you call Jonah Nellie. My first fanfic, so no harsh words in your reviews, please.


**Hey guys! Just saying, this is my first fanfic, so please don't be too harsh in your reviews, 'kay? I do not own the 39 clues.**

Fiske was tired that day. His eyes were bloodshot; he felt weak and he could barely walk without falling onto the nearest couch. So, in this state, how could Fiske fight back when a maniac of a man knocked him unconscious and memorized his address in the dark streets of nighttime Attleboro? The answer is simple: he couldn't.

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Amy Cahill brushed her long, auburn hair out of her eyes. She was currently in the middle of an amazing book, and it was pretty darn hard to see when your tresses are covering your face.

It was also pretty darn hard to concentrate with _Ninja Lord _here, pounding on his video game controls and yelling, "Feel the pain of my sword, troll! I will prevail!"

Dan.

Amy sighed inwardly. At least the old Dan was back. It was pretty awkward, standing there with a brother who had only a nerd-genius boy for friend.

The phone rang, and Nellie Gomez, the kids' crazy-haired au pair, raced to pick it up.

"OH, YOUE-E-E-E-E WIAAL BE MINE-E-E-E-E!" she sang as she checked the caller ID: Fiske Cahill.

"Hey, Fiske," Nellie smiled. "You've been away all night, where were you?"

"Oh, uh, I was called into an urgent…uh, Madrigal meeting?" a raspy voice said on the other end.

"Uh huh," Nellie did not seem very convinced. "Well, why don't you come home and have a nap or something? You sound a bit tired."

"Oh, I would be glad to come home," the voice said. "And I would also like to say that you and the kids will be hosting a two-night Cahill family reunion…at your-I mean our-house."

The voice hung up and smiled. He was most definitely not Fiske Cahill; but he was the man's attacker. And he was also another thing: a Vesper.

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"Alright, kiddos," Nellie frowned. "Bad news: we are hosting a Cahill family reunion. Fiske sent me an email saying that it would be held tomorrow, and that he would be coming home from his…well, whatever it was he was doing."

"WHAT!?" Dan shouted. "CAHILL FAMILY REUNIONS ALWAYS END UP ON THE FRONT PAGE OF THE NEWSPAPER!"

"W-we can't h-h-host something l-like Th-that…" Amy stuttered.

"Yeah, well, Fiske seems to think you can," Nellie gave the kids a sympathetic look. "So, I would suggest you start to clean and prepare."

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All night Amy dreaded the reunion. Now, she was standing in front of the door, debating whether or not she should answer the doorbell. Finally, she opened it to find all of her former adversaries standing on one doorstep and about to enter one house: hers.

"H-hello," Amy said, mentally cursing herself for stuttering. "Uh, come in."

Everyone obeyed, and Amy directed them to the living room and sat on the couch. Dan walked in, and as soon as he saw all his cousins, he screeched and stood there in wide-eyed shock.

Fiske entered the room. _At least, _Amy thought. _I think its Fiske. There is something different about him…oh, well. Nellie said he was tired, so that's probably it._

"Alright, everyone," Fiske said. "You will be staying here for two nights. Do whatever you want up until ten, because I have a special…surprise for you."

Fiske left and everybody immediately started chatting. Hamilton and Jonah came over to Dan, who had recovered from his shock. The Holt twins were having multiple thumb wars, and the Starlings began to discuss their latest invention. Alistair and Natalie Kabra were arguing about the importance of make-up, which, of course, left Amy with the last person she wanted to see: Ian Kabra.

"Hello, love," he purred in her ear. "Is it just you and me, then?"

Amy bit her lip, took a deep breath and turned around to face him. "It would seem so," she said.

"Well, then. What is it you want to do?"

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Nighttime arrived quickly. At ten pm, Fiske had gathered everyone, except for Alistair Oh (who was left in the basement), in the upstairs hall.

"Ah, the younger Cahill generation," he sighed. "It is so sad that they will have to spend the rest of their lives together."

Everyone was taken aback as "Fiske"-who they now understood was a Vesper in disguise-took out a gun and aimed it at the Cahills.

Natalie Kabra reached for her own gun, but remembered that she had left it on the coffee table downstairs. Nobody else had their weapons with them. They were at the mercy of the Vesper.

"For my entertainment," the Vesper smiled evilly. "You will all go into separate rooms, in pairs. You will await instructions inside your rooms."

"Sinead Starling and Hamilton Holt," the Vesper said, pointing to a nearby door. "You are assigned Room One. Reagan Holt and Ned Starling, you are assigned Room Two; Madison Holt and Ted Starling, Room Three; Amy Cahill and Ian Kabra, Room Four; Dan Cahill and Natalie Kabra, Room Five; and finally, Jonah Wizard and Nellie Gomez, please make your way to Room Six."

Everyone obeyed, being extremely scared, and they went to their assigned rooms with their assigned partners.

The Vesper smiled when everyone was gone. He brought out a remote, pressed a button and locked all the doors. No one could get out now.

He sat down on a couch in the hall, and activated his iPhone, which was attached to all the surveillance cameras in the Cahill's rooms. He could view all the action from here.

"Now," The Vesper spoke in to the microphone. "Unless you want me to push a button and activate the time bombs hidden in all your rooms, you must obey my orders. Luckily, I only have one: have sex. "

"WHAT!?" everybody shrieked.

"Have sex with each other," The Vesper repeated, as if it couldn't have been any clearer than that. "You know how it works. Unless you want me to push the "Time Bomb Button"…"

"NO!" everyone shrieked. "WE…WE'LL…UM, WE WILL…DO IT…WAHHH!"

The Vesper smiled. Now, it will get fun.

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Neither Sinead nor Hamilton had ever had sex before. Now, here they were: do it or die.

Hamilton looked at Sinead with a pained expression. "Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked.

"I don't want to…but we have to." Sinead replied.

Hamilton nodded, and Sinead thought she saw tears. Then when Vesper shouted, "Get on with it!" Sinead bit he lip and whipped Ham's shirt of. Hamilton led her to the bed, and shakily unbuttoned Sinead's lab coat. Underneath was a white, push-up bra.

"Wow," Hamilton squeaked. Sinead blushed.

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Reagan and Ted were both shirtless (and bra-less, in Regan's case). Ted and Reagan were blushing like mad, Ted's hands on Reagan's breasts, and Reagan's hands on Ted's crotch.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" they heard the Vesper say over a loudspeaker. "Take it to the next level."

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Madison Holt and Ned Starling were nervous. A naked Holt girl was hiding under the covers, and a naked Starling boy was hiding in the closet. Both were scared and shy.

"Come one," the Vesper's voice came over the loudspeaker. "Show yourselves already! My finger is hovering over the button…"

Ned squeaked and stumbled out of the closet, Madison untangling herself from the sheets. Both stared at in each other in awe, and Ned slowly made his way toward the Holt. However, he managed to trip over a nail that wasn't quite hammered into the floor, and he landed on Madison, his mouth on her breast, her hand on his penis.

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Ian Kabra sat on opposite sides of the bed with Amy Cahill, the love of his life.

"I'm not s-sure I c-can do this, I-Ian," Amy whispered.

"It'll be fine, love," Ian came over and sat beside her. "Just close your eyes and I will guide you. The instructors at my school give very detailed lessons," he added with a chuckle.

Amy looked at his amber eyes with her green ones. Then, she slowly closed her eyes and blushed. Ian smiled. He carefully took off her shirt, revealing a jade bra.

Ian took off his own shirt and pants, and then slipped off Amy's skirt and underwear, resulting in both teens completely naked. Amy could feel her cheeks growing hot as she felt Ian push her down onto the bed.

Amy opened her eyes. Ian smiled and kissed her. Then, he moved to her nipples. Sucking each one, Amy shivered and Ian rubbed her back.

"I know you may not be comfortable with this, love," Ian hugged her. "But this move is only to pleas the Vesper. I'm…I am going to put my penis in your mouth."

Amy didn't say anything. She only nervously opened her mouth wide, and Ian placed his length in there.

"Suck it," he commanded, and Amy obeyed. She hastily moved her lips up and down Ian penis, while Ian played with Amy's crotch preparing it for what was to come.

When Amy's crotch and Ian's crotch were ready, Ian kissed his loved and slowly slipped inside of her.

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Dan and Natalie were clinging to each other, naked and arguing.

"I cannot believe I'm doing this," Natalie screeched.

"Hey, do you think it was my idea?" Dan shot back.

"Why, you little-"Natalie was cut off when she stumbled forward onto the bed and on top of Dan, who put up his hands. Now, they were hugging each other, and Dan had his lips to Natalie's.

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"Music lover to music lover?" Jonah supplied. "I am not so crazy 'bout this, yo."

"No one is!" Nellie cried. "But unless you want to die, then come out from under the bed and I'll come out from the closet."

Jonah and Nellie slowly made their ways out of their hiding places. Both were naked and flashing what the other just didn't want to see.

Jonah winced, closed his eyes and puckered up. Nellie blushed and stepped forward, meeting him in a kiss. Jonah ran his hands up the au pair's chest until he found her cleavage. Nellie did the same for Jonah's crotch.

The Vesper's voice came over the loudspeaker, "Do something fun or you're as good as dead."

Nellie and Jonah looked at each other with pained expressions. And in a few seconds, they were inside each other.

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The Vesper laughed as his captors mated with each other. He was so entertained he didn't even notice Alistair and the real Fiske Cahill standing above him.

"Let them go," Fiske threatened. "Or else."

**The end.**

**You like? Sorry if there was more Amian than the others; it is my absolute favourite pairing. DEATH TO EVAN TOLLIVER! Please review. **


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